Teacher Hollystem!
by Spottedshade
Summary: Hollystem takes a break from being the co-host of The Specklefur and Hollystem Show, she decides to take on the classroom and kits! Can Hollystem handle the madness? Is Hollystem the center of madness? How much candy can you eat until you throw up a rainbow? How do you summon a pizza mountain? All these questions can be answered by Teacher Hollystem! Read now!
1. Hollystem's Class for Kits!

**Author's Note: WELCOME! So, in each chappie Hollystem from **_**The Specklefur and Hollystem Show **_**will teach you a few things or teach the kits a few things. This is just so I have something fun to do when I'm like "ugggghhh, death, secrets, Clans." Yeah, enjoy.**

Loinblaze sat in his red chair and settled down with a mug of coffee, Cinderheart was making fruit smoothies since she refused to drink coffee as a bad example for the kits. He sighed, kits has been a tiring job.

_Taking Honeykit to soccer,_

"Daddy, where's my soccer ball?" asked Honeykit in the cutest pink soccer uniform decorated by Cinderheart.

_Taking Owlkit to karate,_

"WHHHAAACHA!" yowled Owlkit as he knocked over a glass vase and caused a loud crash.

_Taking Amberkit to ballet,_

"C'mon Cinderheart, she doesn't _have _to look perfect." Loinblaze had reasoned.

Both she-cats glared at him.

Amberkit spoke up, "I WANNA LOOK LIKE A PRETTY PRINCESS!"

Cinderheart nodded, "Atta girl!"

"Okay, we'll be late for ballet practice, again..."

_And, taking Streamkit to kit-modeling sessions,_

"Streamkit? Are you sure you want to be a model when you grow up?" fussed Cinderheart.

The beautiful silver tabby nodded, "Shimmerkit is."

Loinblaze joined Cinderheart's side,"I don't know sweetie, it's really hard." then he turned to Cinderheart, "I don't want toms getting lined up for her!" he whispered to Cinderheart.

In the end, Streamkit won and she joined Shimmerkit in modeling sessions...WHICH WAS ALLLLLLL THE WAY IN RIVERCLAN! Well, I guess that's what you get when you let your THUNDERCLAN daughter be best friends with a RIVERCLAN kit. "Why do RiverClan cats fuss over looks?" Loinblaze had cursed when he had taken Streamkit to the modeling place.

He had decided to turn on some T.V to get his mind off the kits, who are probably messing up their rooms and eating WAAAYYYY too many cupcakes. But, who cares right? The Specklefur and Hollystem Show was on, Cinderheart turned around to the theme song.

"That reminds me, Loinblaze I've been meaning to ask you something." she meowed.

"Yes?"

"Well, the kits. I know you have a lot on your paws taking them to places and stuff, but.."

"Spit it out!"

"I want the kits to go to Hollystem's Class for Kits." explained the tabby she-cat.

"I don't know..."

"Please? They need schooling before they go to Elementary School as apprentices!" pushed Cinderheart.

"Lemme think about it." answered Loinblaze.

"Ohhhhhh, pretty please." she meowed in her cutest kitty voice, she fluffed out her long, beautiful tail and batted her lake blue eyes.

Loinblaze nodded he could NEVER say no to that, he leaned in to lick her cheek but then she just stopped the act.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" she happily squeaked.

"Uh huh."

_Ohhhh Jayfeather, _(Ohhh, brother. Get it?) _What did I get my kits into? That cat is insane. Oh, well._

**Author's Note: Okay, so this is just the intro chappie. I will post when I bored or something! Expect the next chappie soon! Byyyyeeeyas! ;)**


	2. Disclaimers

**Author's Note: Hiya! This is on the same day and somebody reviewed! YAY! Thanks Brightfern. And for each review we earn 7 squirrels, once we reach over 100 squirrels we can go on a field trip or something! Thanks for reading and enjoy.**

Cinderheart had gathered all of the kits to the living room.

"Okay kits, we have some news," she looked at them with sympathetic eyes, "Loinblaze?"

"We are going to take you to school, so when your go the kitergarden you'll know what they're talking about. Understand?"

The kits took it pretty well...Owlkit wanted to pull some pranks, Honeykit was very curious, Amberkit wanted to be the PERFECT student, and well...Streamkit didn't take it that well. The silver tabby just was speechless and started texting Cinderheart on her IPawd,

**Streamkit: **_I don't like this_

**Cinderheart: **_Of course you will...it's for your own good! :)_

**Streamkit: **_Seriously?_

**Cinderheart: **_What sweetie? Something wrong?_

**Streamkit: **_Happy face?_

**Cinderheart: **_Ya, so?_

**Streamkit: **_Nothing._

**Cinderheart: **_Okay, ttly_

**Streamkit: **_OMS!(Oh my StarClan) WHAT IN STARCLAN! Stop trying to be hip mom!_

**Cinderheart: **_IDK wut u talkin bout dog_

**Streamkit: **_UGH! Why do I have to go to school anyways?_

**Cinderheart: **_cuz its good fo u_

Streamkit made some kind of a 'Hmph' sound

**Cinderheart: **_u did not just give me that_

**Streamkit: **_yeah I gave you a class of sass!_

**Cinderheart: **_dat just fancy-smancey talk fo 'Classy BUT Sassy'_

**Streamkit: **_Uhhhhh huh._

**Cinderheart: **_StarClan! wut so bad bout going to school? -_-_

**Streamkit: **_IDK, just that I dont need it._

**Cinderheart: **_ur not gunna get a life with a purrr-dy pelt, ya know_

**Streamkit: **_i'd take beauty over brains anyday!_

Cinderheart sighed,"Streamkit?"

**Streamkit: **_ya?_

"Can we stop texting?"

**Streamkit: **_nahh._

**Cinderheart: **_fine._

**Streamkit: **_gtg! ttyl_

**Cinderheart: **_l8ter g8ter!_

**Streamkit: **_MOOOMMM!_

**Cinderheart: **_Love you sweetie, 3_

**Streamkit: **_Uhhh huh._

Loinblaze had to practically drag Streamkit there, but they finally got there.

**Inside to classroom...**

"WELCCOOOOMMMME!" yowled Hollystem.

"Got an hunGRAY belLAYS?" she asked, all super-hypered up from...well it seemed like the mountain of empty coke cans in the corner of the classroom.

Streamkit shook her head, "Nope. Got keep this body in shape."

"To?"

"Be a model."

"Why?"

"'Cause better than what your doing."

"And?"

"NOTHING! GAWD!"

"KK!" meowed Hollystem as she wrote on the white board, it looked like:

_Haw lo do a dIzClalmeir!_

"A disclaimer?" asked Honeykit.

"YUPPPPP!"

"Um, why would we need to know that," then Amberkit realized she HAD to be the BEST student, "Miss Best Teacher In The World World?"

"IDDDKKKK! Ask the teacher," she paused, "WAIT! I am the teacher!" she rolled on the floor and laughed.

"Anyways..." she looked at the kits, "HOW TO DOHH A DIZCLALMIER!"

**1. Drink TONS of Coke**

Hollystem drank up exactly 113,545,656,867,232,676,23W,347,erei,Hollystem,378,000 cans of coke! Then she threw pineapple juice for celebAREasion!

**2. Become a one-hit wonder!**

"All I want is just a disclameeeerrrrr, YAh yah yah yah!" sang Hollystem.

The crowd cheered and threw pineapple juice.

Hollystem stopped singing, "HAHAHAHAHA! I just realized it looked like I pee-d on the stage!"

Silent crowd,

"Juice?"

Silent,

"Pee? Yellow?"

Sillleennt,

"C'mon don't you get it?"

SILENT,

"Anyone seen my potato?" asked Loinheart.

The crowd was RAGING, LAUGHING, HAPPY, RANTING, OTHER RIOT-EY WORDS!

"That's SOOOO funny!"

"AMAZING!"

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Real good stuff here!"

"How do you do it, Loinheart."

Loinheart blinked in the bright news reporter lights shinning in his face, "Um...I just need my potato."

"HAHAHAHA!"

"Ahhh...always a good laugh with Loinheart."

**3. Turn on a COOL comercial**

*a random dude came on*

"Always hated IPawds?"

"WELL..."

"Time for Wakafufu Co. to rise!"

"This is what happens to cats who use our PoopPads!" says a random annoucer voice.

*A cat is dragged onstage*

"I DON't WANNA!"

"Say your line and be quiet!" snapped the random voice.

"um...i-er..feel...good? Wakafufu is a-...'something', and...i-Grayfeather-seriously this is part of the lines?- er did not get...um, cat naped? SAVVEEE ME!" shouted Grayfather.

"See? PUUUURRRfect results!"

"Now! Buy MOOOOAAARRRR!"

**4. BAKE PIES! :) :) :) :):Cinderheart: Cinderheart: Cinderheart: Cinderheart: Cinderheart: :):):):):):):):P**

Hollystem rolled the doe, "LALALALALALALALA!"

"lululululululu.."

"I LIKE PIES, CUZ THEY ARE THE UNICORN's SWEAT!"

She start taking purple pancakes and crushing them with with a 'SUPA DUPA CRUSHER!' from Wakafufu Co.

"YAYAYAYAYAYA!"

**5. Say...**

"..."

**6. Spottedshade**

"...6. Spottedshade"

**7. lulululululu**

Hollystem started to throw pineapple juice everywhere.

"PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

**Author's Note: That wasn't even funny! C'mon Shade, think! Ugh, I'm sorry that it wasn't funny material but, it was the best I could do. Don't worry there will be MUCH funnier lessons soon! Thank you so much for reading and please reivew! Tell me what Hollystem should teach the kits next! Thanks and review!**


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